Life's a bitch, so get bitchier!

'tis seems to be the season of Barb wire Break-ups and Betrayal by Bastards with no Balls if not dupe by 2 timing gutless Bolshevik Blooded Beasts. Albeit hypocrite, kosher Bitches scheming off rebounds are not excluded. Boy, sure feels good to clear this bullshit load off the chest on behalf of all the sugar & spice girls recently victimized. What goes around, comes around. So continue to chest out, bend & snap girls coz it ain't over til the fat lady sings and even so...R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

2 Weddings, onions & no funeral

...albeit there was close to one given the zombified state of sleeplessness i had to endure for 4 days from work clearance on friday to travelling to KiasuLand for a spot of shopping, family time with long lost, hardly recognizable cozs & cousin's wedding programs (yup, that'll take me right up to monday). Oh yes not to mention a kwikie catch up with a sweet gf to supply her with some gum. Ah-huh, i'll never understand the rationale for such extreme ban measures but oh wells, fine me for jaywalking and exercising my basic human rights to speak my mind & chew gum will ya!
But let's not carried away and get back to the 'aww sob sob' wedding story eh. 2 weddings in the same family held on the very same day and each on the other geographical spectrum of each other. Go figure! And they wonder why lack of communication cause rifts in familes... anyways yours truly & HRH dowager matriach aka mah beloved mamie, became the only delegates and honorable representatives from this side of the non-ks border to grace the bride's auspicious day. Allz i can say is "Wat a Babe!" Ah-huh, i could barely recognize her without her geeky glasses, goofy grin & casual tees. Oh yeah, Princess Diaries can just chew mickey dust coz my babe cousin don't need no glass slippers to kick Cindy's ass. We'll leave her other half out of this eh albeit it gives a sparkly glimmer to this jaded world that pure, innocent, first love still exists ;P

Here's a toast to first love and a happily ever after to Richard & LuChuen.

My brother & his gf had the privilege of attending the other 'less glam' wedding filled with traditional chinese fanfare north of here, closer to the rolling limehills & in his words "Aiyoh, full of onions. Urgh!" *shakes his head* According to Edwin Mamak's dictionary 2nd ed. Onions = Ah Lians (chinese girls dolled up in 3"make-up, overdyed/ over-blowned hair in cheesy glam outfits more suited to comedie Hkg!) Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join'em. Pick up the mic & do a canto pop number dude *guffaw* yaaaAAAAAMM Seng!

Ho-kay mah sweet piano boys, give old blue eyes a run for da money eh... 

So how come my pressie is wrapped up in ribbons for me to undo? 

Here's to the 1st anniversary of my 29th. Yaaaaaaaaaam SENG! 

..and this is how u commemorate the 1st anniversary of ur 29th b'day. whisk back to the decadent period of 1919 with awesome homies, good food, fine wine & piano boys. Eh where's my paparazzi? 

thanks for adding paparazzi to my par-tay girls but OMG lee-chard tan, now i know who finished the sangria...Hmph!!!! 

Decadence is a tdf accessory if it's the 1st anniversary of ur 29th b'day. Yup boy friend, here's to metrosexuality & decadence. I still love u 4 all ur mistaken gay identity *MuaHH* 

Sleepless in Shanghai

All play and no Zzz makes 5 days one hellavu spit & speed, style & stink techno trip. No capital Es necessary! Ah-huh, think spit strewn streets playing host to an eclectic mix of 21st century architecture that Foster would either kill to demolish or add to his portfolio. But if it's speed you seek, head to the tracks for a glimpse the infamous red stallion whizzing pass at the city's first attempt to host the F1. Yup me thinks it lived up to all that ra ra & overhype. Too bad about 'em tyres Shuey...but me thinks a certain bloke who was translating for Juan Pablo Montoya couldn't care less having soaked in his 5 seconds of star treatment behind the scenes with 5 star hotel, endless supply of fine cheese & wine to cart home and 1500 euros richer. No guesses on where he'd splurge coz' Welcome to Shanghai, baby! Just take a shower before you try on those Armani threads eh?

M on the Bund is as close to heaven as you'd get unless you were at the big Hugo Boss bash where you get champagne flowing out of your ears as my bubbled-up friend so aptly puts it and where the models are drool city if your appetites aren't already whet by then. Err lemme rephrase that, since i didnt make it to Cloud 9, Hugo & M is as good as it gets for this chick. Eat ur heart out, Bond!

OK so maybe i was born a li'l too late for the decadent opium infested glory days that sealed the Bund's reputation. But hey, it's all good - from stinky airports to posh pads to time warped river towns from sun-up to moon down. It's been some trip eh fellas? What more can a chick ask for in a SYT personal tour guide who did more justice to Mandarin than i did beneath his white skin. Thanks to mr bigwig at the Dave Seaman party@ Park 97 for an invitation to the Jag party but unfortunately i've got a prior engagement at a not quite so beachy party that did culminate in "closet gay" frens with a nice pad & free porn *grin*. Xie xie generous Julie whose family i hope is still on talking terms with her now that they've met me. So sue me for being a livewire. I can't help it if my mum was on some really good s**t during her pregnancy. Hmph...green is so not ur color dah-lings!

p/s: Oh yes, even if i came this close to missing my flight no thanks to horrendous city traffic and world's rudest airport personnels, kudos on that mega fast magna contraption that took me to pudong in under 9 minutes at 430km/h and traffic-less diplomat counter manned by no speak english officers. Hey i'm no diplomat but i'm diplomatic! Made the gates with 5 mins to spare. Praise be.